Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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