will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
