im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
