Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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