I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
