I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
