He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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