i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
