what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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