i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
