Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I deserve this hangover.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
