Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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