Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The struggles of a small town man whore
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
