I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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