Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
