5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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