..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
