Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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