the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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