O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
