worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
