he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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