mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
