I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
