i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
