East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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