that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
