it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
lol hangovers are for mortals.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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