Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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