he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it's like iHOP with fire
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
