hotel room ftw
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize