its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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