Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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