Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You were trust falling into bushes
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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