I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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