This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
