Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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