Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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