I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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