ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
