a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize