In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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