I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
