I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Randomize