We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
