I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
