I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
