she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
