Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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