shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
