ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize