Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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