If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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