The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
