What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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