i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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