We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
