it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
