i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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