You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
